Flabbergasted is a word I never foresaw myself using to describe worshipping God. Or at least that was the truth until today. I woke up and saw a notification on my phone about a donation that left me with less than $300 to fundraise to serve in Africa. I was speechless, the only word coming to my mind being “flabbergasted.”

I thought, “Really, God? There has to be a word to better describe this feeling.” You see, I thought “flabbergasted” had a negative connotation, so I was confused about why this was the word at the forefront of my thoughts. Out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning.

Amazed. Astonished. Astounded.

Okay, yep. That’s exactly how I felt while still laying in bed in complete awe of our Provider. I could hardly believe I was so close to being fully funded. My fundraising prayer that past few days was that God would provide a large donation, and He did just that. A few hours passed and donations came pouring in. My personal goal was to be done fundraising by July 31st, yet He provided by the 28th.

During this month of fundraising, I have found myself in complete awe of God. I have seen Him provide in ways that I can’t even try to claim as my own doing. He has provided me with a peace and calmness completely opposite of my normal character. He has brought all glory to Himself.

A few weeks ago I was brought to this scripture:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5:6-11

Humbled is what I’ve been.

I’ve learned that He cares for me. He fully loves me and I am fully accepted by Him. Nothing in this world compares to His plan for each and every person because His plan is Perfect.

So yes, I am sitting here typing this fully flabbergasted by our loving Father.

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